Yukkai Daifu Dei it's in english, honest
by psychotol
Summary: Noriko Ashida is approached by Jay which usn't listed on the character menu for some reason regarding Father's Day. This is her reaction. Couple of swear words in there, so, y'know, careful.


Constraints: Some point before M Day but after jay and Noriko enrol at Xavier's.

Synopsis: Noriko sends her dad a father's day gift.

Yukkai Daifu Dei.

Content: Swearing.

Legal: For fuck's sake, do I HAVE to? The site's called for fuck's sake, I mean seriously.

(X)

"Hey Nori," said Jay as he sat down next to Noriko in the Xavier Institute Cafeteria.

"Hey," said Noriko as she ate in moody silence.

"Just wondering if you've thought about father's day?"

Noriko looked at him in disbelief for a second. "You mean the day you send your dad a gift of affection or appreciation? Annnnd, I'll do that why?"

"After all he did, he deserves something, doesn't he?" asked Jay.

Noriko had a few ideas on what her dad deserved, all of them involving the transfer of a six figure quantity of coulombs through his rectal area.

Then Noriko noticed the maniacal look on Jay's face.

"Yeah? Got any suggestions?" asked Noriko.

"It's all set up, just need you to sing this," Jay said as he handed Noriko a sheet of paper.

Noriko read it.

Her mood was somewhat ambivalent. "This ... describes him to a tee, but what good will this do? I mean, I appreciate this-"

"Yeah, but I bet he won't appreciate it when-"

(X)

Father's Day, 09:00, GMT+9h

(X)

Seiji enjoyed the Chiyu Miyu Show on NHK Rajio Ichi, and of course, this being father's day, he enjoyed hearing of other dad's dishonour. Made him feel better that he wasn't at the bottom.

"Okay, we have another song request, this one's in English, and ... There's some swearing in this, but it's in English not Japanese," said Chiyu Miyu.

"Hang on, do you think we should check with legal first?" asked Akiko Hayate Jurous.

"We'll ask later," he said and he started playing it.

A lot of Japanese professionals dealt with foreign customers on the phone if not face to face, so a lot fo them could speak English, so it was a sure bet that this song would draw complaints, and probably make those who couldn't speak English learn it so they could understand what it was about this song that was so obscene.

(the song is basically a cover of this one at youtube under watch?v=MjufrmE7GY8&feature=related, so get this playing before reading the lyrics).

The song went "All mouth, no brain, this guy's a pain, you can scream and cuss.

"Mind, he'd put his boot up your dog's ares and lick your lasses puss, right.

"He'll steal your fags, he'll drink your booze, he'll tie fireworks to the cat.

"And he disowned his daughter for being a mutant, well, just who is this twat?

THIS got Seiji's attention, as did the fact the lyricist's voice sounded somewhat familiar. "Oh no,"

"He's a cunt, he's a cunt, he's a C U N T cunt.

"With his broken teeth and his ugly face, he's a male dick teaser that's out of place.

"He'll ditch his family and pretend they're imaginary, just to salve his ego.

"And he farts such cocks and he's riddled with pox, because basically, he's a cunt.

There was a pause between the verses as the piano and the stringed instrument played on.

It then picked up.

"He dyes his hair, to match his clothes, he smells so much he'll fill your nose, he's got a hard expression, to prove he's tough and no tolerances, the fucking poof.

"If you've never heard of this human turd, he'd be a pig if he could grunt, and he talks a load of crap as well, because basically he's just a cunt.

"He's a cunt, he's a cunt, he's a C U N T cunt.

"With his broken teeth and his ugly face, he's a male dick teaser that's out of place.

"He'll ditch his family and pretend they're imaginary, just to salve his ego.

"And he farts such cocks and he's riddled with pox, because basically, he's a cunt.

"He's riddled with wards and blackheads too and he don't know a joke unless it's blue.

"The vicar's daughter swears and cries because he fucked her with a pack of lies.

"If you work in accounts at Genjhi industries, you don't have to hunt too far.

"Because it's Seiji, it's Seiji Ashida, the bastard, basically he's the cunt.

"He's a cunt, he's a cunt, he's a C U N T cunt, with his broken teeth and his ugly face, he's a male dick teaser that's out of place.

"He'll ditch his family and pretend they're imaginary, just to salve his ego.

"Yes and he farts lots of cocks and he's riddled with pox, because basically, he's a cunt.

"He farts such cocks and he's riddled with pox, because ba, si, cally, he's a C U N T, greasy honourless shit he, he's a fucking great big fat cunt."

A few seconds later, in Japanese, came "Happy fathers day, from Noriko Ashido, the girl you STILL pretend you never had."

It was about now that his personal assistant slammed the door and ran, grabbing the nearest fire alarm, announcing a surprise fire drill.

(X)

"OH FUCK YEAH!" commented Noriko as she and Jay listened to the radio station on line.

"Turned him off his favourite radio station, embarrassed him in front of his work force, embarrassed him in front of all of JAPAN," commented Jay, both he and Noriko wore maniacal grins.

"Yeah, try pretending THAT didn't happen you greasy little shit," added Noriko.

They both savoured their victory for a few second.

Then Noriko purred "Jay?"

"Yes?"

Noriko then pounced on Jay, forcing her tongue into his mouth and they then proceeded to savour the moment some more.

(X)

End.


End file.
